Under the best of circumstances, children need to know that their world is safe and that they’re competent and worthy of respect. That need for reassurance is exponentially higher in the midst of a global…
Here is a video I did for Hachette Books on some tips to get through this period. Licensed clinical counselor and journalist Phyllis Fagell gives tips for parents with middle school children from her book…
Under the best of circumstances, middle schoolers have to navigate a complex social landscape. They care deeply about their friends, but their empathy is developing, they’re insecure, and they’re still learning how to self-regulate and…
The room full of tweens at Marymount International School in London voiced many of the same concerns as my middle-schoolers in the District. “Sometimes, I pretend to know what my friends are talking about just…
Supporting students during this changing and uncertain time My 11-year-old son recently got an email from his coach, Ava Benach, on what was supposed to be his first day of baseball practice. “Hi team,” she…
Just a brief update to share the exciting news that today is publication day for “Middle School Matters.” I’ll be at my favorite independent bookstore in Mashpee, Massachusetts to mark the occasion. I’ve been getting…
It can be frustrating to parent — or teach — a child or teen with “Eeyore Syndrome.” These are the kids who are relentlessly negative. They’ll say things like, “My teacher thinks I’m stupid,” or…
Middle schoolers are unfairly maligned, so Phyllis wrote this article for Ask Listen Learn to bust some myths. For starters, most tweens really dislike drama—especially from their parents. Here’s her take on some of the…
The eighth-grade girl approached Principal Tom Adams in the cafeteria. “Dylan just asked out Samantha as a joke,” she said. “Now he’s laughing about it with his friends, and Samantha is sitting at our table…
Phyllis talks about teen jealousy, FOMO, and teaching girls to support one another in this Facetime Live with Roy Petitfils, the host of Today’s Teenager podcast. Click here to watch.
Girls who perceive that it’s a zero-sum game are less likely to support one another and more likely to view each other as threats, but this is short-sighted. When girls band together, they expand their…
I had fun doing a Facebook Live episode with the hilarious Deva Dalporto of My Life Suckers. We talked about how parents can teach kids to make good, safe and smart choices—whether it involves drinking…
I keynoted the Responsibility.Org summit in Washington, D.C. on October 12, 2018, presenting on how parents and other adults can help kids become smart decision-makers. I covered a wide age range, starting with the social-emotional…
Phyllis was the guest on BBC World News (Beyond 100 Days), talking to reporters Katty Kay and Christian Fraser about the dramatic rise in self-harming behavior among children.
Jealousy is a tough emotion that can’t be vanquished. As kids get bombarded daily with messages that they’re not enough, we need to connect them with their strengths & help them appreciate that no one’s…
As jobs disappear to automation, soft skills such as agility, creativity and inventiveness may predict success more than grades, scores or core knowledge. There’s no one path to success, but here are seven strategies that…
