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Middle School Matters

Middle school is its own important, distinct territory, and yet it’s either written off as an uncomfortable rite of passage or lumped in with other developmental phases.

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Based on her many years working in schools, Middle School Matters  sees these years as a critical stage that parents can’t afford to ignore (and though “middle school” includes different grades in various regions, she maintains that the ages make more of a difference than the setting). Though the transition from childhood to adolescence can be tough for kids, this time of rapid physical, intellectual, moral, social, and emotional change is a unique opportunity to proactively build character and confidence.

Phyllis helps parents use the middle school years as a low-stakes training ground to teach kids the key skills they’ll need to thrive now and in the future, including making good friend choices, negotiating conflict, regulating their own emotions, acting as their own advocates, and more. To answer parents’ most common questions and struggles with middle school-aged children, she combines her professional and personal expertise with stories and advice from prominent psychologists, doctors, parents, educators, school professionals, and middle schoolers themselves.

Pregnancy Magazine named MIDDLE SCHOOL MATTERS one of the “best parenting books — one of 26 Books That Will Change Your Life for the Better.
-Pregnancy Magazine

A must-read for all parents and educators of kids in this unique and often misunderstood age.

-Booklist (starred review)

Required reading for every parent and educator!! TEN STARS!

Middle School Matters is a MUST read for helping kids thrive. And the author is stellar. Phyllis Faggel is a school counselor who clearly knows children and their needs. I know so because I've watched her in action at her school and leave wishing she could be cloned. But her advice is now available to all in this powerful read. Every tip she gives is practical AND proven (a wonderful combination). She also offers ten skills that every child will need in middle school but also to flourish in a challenging and accelerated new world. I admit I'm biased - I know Phyllis and her work and I'm honored to write the foreword to this book. My hope is that Middle School Matters will be on the desk of every teacher and the nightstand of every parent. What a difference applying this material will make for our children!

A masterpiece, real gem that provides practical tools!

New York State Principal of the Year Donald Gately shared this blog about the pandemic, tweens, and  "Middle School Matters." He writes in part, "I’m indebted to Phyllis Fagell, author of the book that has become my new obsession, Middle School Matters:  The 10 key skills kids need to thrive in middle school and beyond – and how parents can help. Phyllis recently did a webinar for the American Middle-level Educators Association (AMLE) providing guidance for educators during COVID-19. Her key ideas apply to both parents of adolescents and teenagers themselves."

A how-to guide to build your middle schooler up

"This Book Scared the BeJeezus Out of Me!" is a little nerve-wracking, but the reviewer writes that MIDDLE SCHOOL MATTERS "is a how-to guide to build your middle schooler up. There are hundreds of parenting books, but very few make my must read list. This is one of them."

A hands-on guide to the middle school years

A long awaited release that has come just in time for me as my daughter is entering 6th grade. Phyllis gives easy to understand hands-on advice for parents and educators.

Each chapter is backed up with anecdotal evidence, and well researched data. Sections end with conversation starters, tips for parents and ideas for educators.

This book is one I will definitely be returning to as a resource throughout the middle school years. Im sure it will be well-worn by the time we reach high school. I highly recommend it.

One of the best books and school/community tie-ins I’ve ever experienced.

Still basking in the glow of your visit through ongoing discussions and questions with parents, faculty, etc. regarding Middle School Matters. One of the best books and school/community tie-ins I've ever experienced. Keep up the great work!

I read with a highlighter!

Lots of inside-information for parents about the highs and lows of middle school years. I highlighted lots of tid-bits and will be sure to go back to this book as a resource in the upcoming years! Highly recommend.

An excellent up-to-date book for parents and educators!

I was highly anticipating this book after reading several of the author's parenting articles in The Washington Post and several blogs and other places online. The topics she's written about are so timely and important to me as a parent of teenagers and also as a school counselor. Every single article has left me with something really useful or important to consider and keep thinking about... It seems she's put it all together in Middle School Matters. This excellent book is FULL of anecdotes, advice from experts,, and guidance to help parents feel they're making the right choices. It is not preachy or the outdated parenting book of the past. It is full of real stories and practical tips. I have just sat and read this book for hours but I anticipate coming back to specific chapters later as necessary. There is guidance here on everything from homework to raising kids to be resilient and kind. It's called Middle School Matters, but I would really suggest this for parents (and educators) of kids in upper elementary on through high school. I will be recommending it to family members, friends, and parents of students I work with.

I can’t recommend this book enough. I hadn’t even finished the third chapter before I told my husband that he was going to have to read this.

Phyllis Fagell, a middle school counselor who has seen hundreds of children go through this transition, offers compassionate, sensible advice on how to navigate these murky waters. In Middle School Matters, she identifies ten key skills that she thinks are paramount for kids to master and offers concrete ways that parents can help their tweens grow.

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5 STARS!

The author helps parents proactively head problems off at the pass, and she also provides advice for the educators of middle school students. I appreciate that she realizes parents, teachers, and counselors are a team working toward the same goal. I would not hesitate to recommend this book to parents of current or future middle school students. In fact, we had parent-teacher conferences on Friday and I found myself doing just that multiple times. In addition, I shared the book with my principal who was so excited that she is having Phyllis Fagell come speak to parents at our school in Michigan. This is definitely one book that I’m happy is in my toolbox, and I will refer to it for many years to come

Middle School Matters is also must-read for parents with children in middle school!







Did you know that every middle schooler today was born after September 11, 2001? Much has changed, but if there’s one thing that’s predictable about middle school, it’s that it’s unpredictable! Phyllis Fagell wrote "Middle School Matters" as a guide for parents and educators with the key skills we can help foster in our middle schoolers. I found myself nodding along in the scenarios she described, as I'm a middle school teacher and have seen many of them in our day-to-day life at school. She tackles shifting friendships, bullying, sexual health, anxiety, academics, and more. What I love most about this book is that throughout each chapter, she provides possible conversation starters you can use to speak to your children or students." Here's the full review: https://cohort21.com/jenniferbairos/2019/12/08/middle-school-matters-by-phyllis-l-fagell/





Thank you Phyllis for helping us improve the relationship we have with our children

Phyllis helps parents put our fears, challenges, and questions about the middle school years (and beyond) in perspective. She has practical suggestions based on real-life experience and shares scenarios to help us feel that we aren't alone.  By helping us understand that our children's arguments are truly communications and their slights are (most likely) simply lack of skills, we can be less reactive and more thoughtful in our parenting.  Thank you Phyllis for helping us improve the relationship we have with our children...and sleep a bit better tonight. I've heard so much positive feedback - everyone loved you!

A Masterpiece!

The Positive Parenting Centre reviewed "Middle School Matters," noting, in part: "To summarize this book in just a few words, I would have to say it is a masterpiece, a real gem that provides practical tools to help anyone who reads it! Phyllis articulates her wisdom in layman’s terms, beginning with the distinctly fitting name of the book through to the comprehensive resource section at the end. I personally suggest it as a must-read if you are a parent with a child aged 10 to 14…. the earlier the better in order to proactively prepare yourself. Every late elementary school teacher should have this book in their professional toolbox for frequent reference."